We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
