Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize