just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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