I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
