is your mom at the bar?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
