I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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