I bet he comes in French.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
