You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
