my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
But break dance skills will only take you so far
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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