Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
