Nicole vs. Life
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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