Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
