okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
