Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
