I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
