I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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