Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
