problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize