I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
