So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
