Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
