She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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