I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
did you just send me my own nude
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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