I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Send help, water and tortillas.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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