hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
