I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
