Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
