i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Randomize
