How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
