so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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