I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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