Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
