god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
