They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
