It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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