just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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