I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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