Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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