never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
