Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize