i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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