Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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