Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
