Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
