He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
