Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
