I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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