I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
