My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
