i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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