its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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