You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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