dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Every concussion has its silver lining
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
