I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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