Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Be still, my beating vagina.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
