I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
don't judge my taste in strippers
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
