I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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