dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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