omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize