weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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