I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
