R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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